Final Hina Fantasy
by Beyond the Bounds-Zenithos
Summary: What happens when the world of FinalFantasy and Love Hina clash? You get a chaotic frenzy of nonstop action as Keitarou is given possesion of the Hinata garden. Will the students and teaching staff accept their new manager? Decide the pairing! Vote!
1. Keitarou's First Lesson

Hinata garden...the most prestigious school in the Kanagawa region (the only one, for that matter). Its huge halo could be seen for miles around, even at night, for its radiance was one unrivalled in Gaia. But despite its spotless reputation and high-flying standards, it currently had trouble attracting students...

Keitarou Urashima, 15 year-old Galbadia Garden entrance exam 3rd time retaker, found himself standing in the entrance hall, admiring the beautiful modern interior of the school. He looked around for any sign of other students. No one in sight. "Strange, such a great school should have millions of students miling around..." He mused..."Where is everyone?"

* * *

Disclaimer : I don't own Love Hina or Mahou Sensei Negima,they belong to Akamatsu Ken. I don't own the Final Fantasy series either, it belongs to SquareSoft Please don't sue. I'll cry... 

Yes, it's me, BTB, back with a new series called Final Hina Fantasy. This new idea had been hammering away at my head for the past few days and finally I decided to write it. Yeah, it's a Love Hina Final Fantasycrossover parody, well, sort of a parody. I'll try to make it as original as possible while still using both elements from both Love Hina andFinal Fantasyand make them as natural as they come. Updates would be slow, unfortunately, cause I'm also writing another series called Arcanius Hina, some of you might have read it. It's being updated weekly, or at least, I'm trying to do so. With all the work I've got right now, school work, my novel, and another fic to complete, I expect this thing might get updated at least once a month. Thanks for reading, and please review. I'm an aspiring writer and knowing what the readers think is the first step to improving myself, so if you've got anything to say, comments, critics, maybe even flames (please, if it is a flamer, then at least tell me why), please tell me.

Note: There are more than 40 girls in this story, and only a few boys, i.e. Keitarou, Negi, Seta, Takamichi, Lee, Rayce, and Kotarou. Now...it's your turn to vote and pair up these characters with a girl of your choice...who's gonna be the lucky girl?

Enjoy chapter 1

Note: See if you could locate some of the Arcanius Hina Original characters hiding amongst the cast. hehehe

Chp1 : Keitarou's First Lesson

* * *

_"You know, if two people who are in love with each other go to ... garden, and one of them becomes a sorcerer or sorceress, and they both go off to battle the sorceress of the future, they'll together live happily ever after."_

_"Really? I never knew that..."_

_"Then promise me, Kei-kun, that we'll go together, and take the others along with us."_

_"I...I promise...!"_

_

* * *

_

"If only I remembered the name of the garden..." Keitarou sighed as he walked through the ticket barier of the Kanagawa train station. Many other passengers were disembarking from the cool looking train. Steam was flying everwhere as the train let off all its surplus steam.

"My name is Keitarou Urashima, though I wish I had a cooler name, like Lionheart or something. I'm 15 years old and I've failed the entrance exam to Galbadia garden twice. I don't know where the promised girl of my dreams is. I don't even remember where I made the promise. Egads, I don't even remember her name. Heck, I don't even remember my life up to 8 years ago. All I remember is that promise...and so I went to Galbadia garden since its the best garden in Gaia...and yet I failed...twice. And now I find myself walking around in..." Keitarou looks around as he tried to get his bearings,

He sat down, exhausted. "What am I doing here...wait, oh yeah, Hinata garden, I was supposed to go there. I hope Grandma Hina will allow me to stay there for a while. It's a garden too, right? I might even be able to get into school there." He sighed again as he looked beside him. A forlorn looking dark-blue haired girl was sitting on the bench beside him. She looked sad. Wait, saying she was sad was like saying the challenger had a little mishap. She was beyond despair, it seemed. Keitarou took out his laptop, turned the screen around into a drawing pad, took out the stylus, and started sketching.

But then a number of elders showed up and snatched the laptop out of Keitarou's hands. They started throwing it around, while Keitarou flailed his arms about trying to catch it. It finally fell by Shinobu's feet and she caught a glimpse of herself smiling before the screen went fuzzy and the laptop went dead due to the damage. She picked it up and whispered, "...how could you?"

"hahaha...I'm sorry, bad hand, bad hand" Keitarou slapped his own hand and laughed, then he ran away, running pell mell as if the demon itself was after him. Indeed a demon was after him. A Bomb had decided to take a stroll inside the city and, not being able to take the craziness of urban life anymore, it decided to blow up. All it needed was an unfortunate sod to ram into. It decided Keitarou would do nicely and started to fly after him.

Shinobu watched as Keitarou blew up in the distance and flew off out of the city. She looked down at the broken laptop, turned it around, and found that it was made in some country called 'Japan'. "Strange, never heard of that country before...must be a somewhere down south..." she decided. "This'll be easy to fix...then I guess I'll have to give it back to that boy." she turned around and looked at the way home. She sighed, and started walking, reluctantly, each step seemed to take ages. Partly because there was gum stuck to her shoes, and also partly because when she got home, her parent's would be fighting over another card game again...she can't take it anymore.

* * *

Keitarou landed in front of the large school that shone bluish white in the warm afternoon sun. He decided to walk in. He decided it must be a holiday and everyone must have gone home, cause the whole school was deserted. He walked up into the north corridor and started looking around. A sign told him he was heading towards the dormitories. The dormitory lobby was huge, with many sofas here and there, a reception desk in one corner, many computers, all of which had the school logo shown on their monitors. "But where was everyone?" Keitarou wondered. 

He journeyed deeper into the seemingly abandoned dorm until he finally came upon a double automatic door that had spa symbols on them. "Hmmm, hot springs..." he sniffed himself, "eyuch...haven't taken a bath for a while, not since I left Galbadia. Better take a bath before I meet grandma. Don't wanna make a bad first impression." he decided as he entered. Little did he know, 'bad first impression' was spelt in huge letters in the book of fate under the heading 'Keitarou Urashima'.

What happened next was old history. As Keitarou relaxed in the hot springs, a brown haired girl came into the spring and seemed to think he was someone else named Mitsune. After she finally realized it was someone else, she screamed. As Keitarou tried to run away, apologizing as he ran backwards, he ran into a whole group of girls. One of them was shouting out, "Narusegawa! Are you all right!"just as Keitarou slammed into them. One girl who had her hair tied into two ponytails with bell decorations hanging onto each, who he had the utmost infortune to tackle down, reared back her hand and slammed a fist into Keitarou's face where it made the impression that Keitarou's face was made of dough for a split second before he flew off into the changing rooms.

There he collided with a collection of other girls, one of which was still clothed and carrying a katana. The raven haired girls screamed at the top of her lungs as she grasped her katana and shouted, "SUCCESION TECHNIQUE ZAN KU SEN!" a blast of ki emanted from her katana and sent Keitarou into the corridor outside the changing room.

There he met another group of girls, all of which were carrying books. The purple haired girl screamed and dropped her books, thinking he was a flasher. He stood up and started running again. Behind him, two swordswomen screeched into the hallway, followed by a brown skinned girl carrying two handguns, and another brown-skinned girl carrying two Chakrams.

"Aoyama-sempai, try to halt his movements. Setsuna will cut him off from another direction. I'll try and gun him down, while you, Ku Fei...uhh...you try and slow him down, ok?"

"Yeah, finally, a practical!" Ku Fei shouted in excitement. The two swordswomen just nodded their agreement and carried out the orders.

Keitarou skid into another corridor, apparently there was a shortcut from the dorms to the cafeteria section without having to go through the main lobby. As he ran through it the lunch-girl gazed at him with a look of surprise and amusement. One brown skinned girl who was enjoying a large stack of banana hot dogs decided that joining the chase might be a lot more fun. And so she did, bringing a whole arsenal of weapons enough to outgun a battleship along with her.Keitarou screamed as ki bursts, bullets, other pointy-ended projectiles, laser shots, as well as the occasional magic spell, whiz over his head.

But suddenly, he found himself full of energy. It was flowing out of him, there was a golden glow around him. Yes, it was the Limit Break he had always heard about. His infinite HP never allowed him to attain the super human state of Limit Break, cause his HP never went critical. But it seems his HP was going critical now. He decided to use his best ability- flee.

His sudden burst of speed left his pursuers coughing in the dust left behind in his wake. "Ahhh! We've gotta get that peeping tom. We'll get him and punish him or my name's not Asuna!" The bell pony tail girl shouted.

He ran into the library and found himself showered with books. "Take that! you pervert! No one defiles the library while the library exploration team is here!" a black haired girl shouted, finally throwing the empty tomato juice carton at him from on top of a nearby bookshelf.

"Nope, can't hide there!" he ran out, somehow bowled over the pursuit team coming after him up the library corridor (there was a sound of a bowling ball striking down pins as this happened) and ran off.

"Hey, there's the flasher!" a freckly faced girl shouted, pointing at the dissapearing figure.

"Was he flashing anything?" another girl with big round glasses said. She had a laptop under one arm.

"Ara...No...it was too small to be seen, I guess." another girl said. She had a watermelon under one arm.

"I should be safe in here..." he panted, "no one working in an infirmary would hurt anyone, right?" just then, the nurse walked in.

"Is someone hurt?" she asked, but she then screamed when he saw the naked form of Keitarou, wrapped only in a wet towel. She started hurtling syringes, scissors and scalpels at Keitarou. "HELP! I'M JUST A POOR DEFENSELESS LITTLE GIRL!" She screamed as she pelted Keitarou with every projectile-convertible sharp object she could find. Keitarou decided to run again.

"Whahhh! The girls are popping up everywhere! And they're all phsychotic to the core!" He screamed. Just as he reached the grand lobby, an ICBM hurtled towards him. He ducked, as it missed him by inches, flew up, and fell back down towards him. "Nooooooooooo!" he shouted as he jumped out of the way. The explosion sent him flying off again. This time down the training centre corridor.

"Ouch...that hurt..." he looked around at the jungle that surrounded him. "I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore..." he mumbled. just then a large drop of water fell on his head. He looked up slowly, as he noticed how viscous the water was. Yep, it was drool, and the indignity of getting drooled on wasn't on his mind right now. It was the inhuman death he might suffer if those huge choppers decided it wanted a guest for dinner. The T-Rexaur looked down on its prey. Riding on its head was another brown skinned girl, who seemed to have face painting on her face. She stared blankly at Keitarou as he tried to back away from impending (and most probably, painful) death.

After being satisfied with scrutinizing over the boy, the girl made a faint click click sound with her tongue, and the large lumbering beast turned around and boomed away into the jungle. Keitarou decided that staying here any longer would register in the WHO guidebook as one of the biggest health hazards any life-loving mortal should promptly and without hesitation avoid.

He found himself down in the underground parking lot. Now what was he doing here? Suddenly, the high beam of a white van that had skid around the corner at the end of the driveway fell on him, as the car came speeding down the road, doing a very good impression of a drunk rocket. Keitarou was literally a deer in the headlights as the car roared towards him. He jumped aside in the nick of time the car crashed into a tanuki statue that ironically said, "safety first."

The door opened and a zombie like creature came out, blood gushing down its face. "Sorry, sorry about that." it said cheerfully, but it's apology fell on deaf ears as Keitarou screamed for his mommy. The back door of the truck opened and a small face peeped out.

"Hey, it's a perverted peeping dork. Looks like a nice target for discus throwing practice, " and she hurled a large spiky disc artifact at him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Keitarou ran away at full speed.

"Hey, stand still you dork, don't you know how to play William Tell!" she shouted after him, throwing an entire museum's worth of ancient artifacts at the boy. The zombie like person just laughed heartily, got back into the van, reversed, hit a support column, and brought down the roof on the entire parking lot.

He ran off and found himself in the quad, where a number of cheerleaders were chearing, a soccer player and a basketball player was practicing, and a gymnist was going through her gymnastics moves. He also caught a glimpse of a pale green haired girl and a really tall girl beside her who were watching him with interest. The cheerleaders all shrieked as they saw him, while the soccer player shot a drive shot that would've set the record as the strongest nut-cracker any man ever had the indignity to suffer in the history of the universe. The basket ball player threw a slam dunk on his head, while the gymnist caught his foot with her ribbon and flung him into the air. The cheerleaders all cheered as the pervert got just what he deserved.

He slammed into a window, making a very wet noise. Then as he withdrew his head from the window pane, there was a sound reminscent of a plumber unclogging something very big, nasty, and hairry that got stuck in the toilet last sunday morning when the user had suffered a particularly strange strain of diarhea.

He slipped down the window into an open one, and thankfully landed on the floor. he looked around. It's the second floor. There seemed to be class going on and he had landed right in the front of the classroom. The teacher, who was holding a long staff, looked around at him. "Hello, umm...may I _help_ you?" He made a strong emphasis on the word 'help'. The entire class, which comprised of only a few students, where both surprised and amused looking at him. The only boy sitting in the class room raised an eye brow.

Keitarou ran out of the class room and ran headlong into a lift. On the way, he knocked over another boy. "Hey, watch it! pedestrians got a right of way you know!" the boy shouted, hurryingly picking up his scattered books. "Hey, who are you? I've never seen you before. You must be another one of those peeping toms! I won't let you disturb the girls!" he took out his twin Ace p260-A handguns and started peppering Keitarou with gunshots.

Keitarou dived into the lift and pushed the close button repeatedly as the bullets richochetted off the closing doors. He blew a sigh of relief as the doors closed completely.

"He went that way! Up the elevator! He went up to the principal's room! get him!" the first brown haired girl shouted from below.

"Hey Lee! get him! what are you standing around for! get him!" one of the girls shouted at the boy on the second floor bridge.

"Yeah, Davis! if you don't catch him, I'll accuse you of conspiring with him!" the raven-haired swordswoman shouted.

Keitarou ran out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened. He had purposely pushed on the button for the highest floor, determined to get as much distance from his pursuers as possible. He ran into the grandly decorated room, looking around for an escape path. Just as he decided he might try the windows, a voice called out.

It came from behind a chair that was facing the wall. "Keitarou, leaving so soon? let's have a little chat first..." the chair swung around to reveal a small old woman.

"Grandma!" Keitarou couldn't believe his luck. He was saved!

"Keitarou, you finally came. I was worried you'd never show up. But good, you came. Now I could hand over the school to you and go and enjoy my retirement years. Gotta rest these old bones, if you catch my drift" She leaped out of the chair with the strength and grace of a 15 year old and landed in front of her desk. She picked up a sheath of papers and handed it to the dumbstruck Keitarou. "Here are the deeds and stuff. You're going to need those. You now own the entire school. congratulations. But there's one condition...you must be willing to shoulder the responsibility of being the school's manager and caretaker. Principal Konoe will take care of the running of the school. Your task is to assist him and make sure everything goes well. The revenue, if there is any, will go to you. Unfortunately, we're kinda down on our luck right now. The school's operating cost has doubled since last year, and we've only got around 45 students. We've even got some of them doubling as members of the staff. This is no good, you've got your work cut out for you, Kei-kun. oh, by the way, the members of the teaching staff will meet you later, good bye, and good luck. And make sure I don't find a crater here when I come and visit next time" she said hurriedly as she jumped out of the window into a waiting red dragon-like ship.

"h...hey, grandma, wait, what is all this? hey, grandma?" Keitarou was too late. His safety guarantee had just flew away. "Crutz, what's all this?" he asked. Just then, the door opened and a number of people walked in. Keitarou looked around in horror for a place to hide. He jumped behind the desk and waited for the worst.

End of Chapter 1

* * *

Author notes: 

Noticed what Grandma Hina said? "make sure I don't find a crater here when I come and visit next time" Find anything ironical about that? prophetic maybe? hehehe.

Anyway, expect the next update at the end of September, latest. If not, early next month.


	2. Fit In or Get Out

This was it…it had to be, 10 year old Negi Springfield was running with every bit of speed he could muster. He's gonna need it, he's got a whole mob trailing behind him. Cries of "GET HIM!" and "DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!" trailed in the air behind him like an advertisement banner. The more people heard the cries, the more people joined the mob(mostly for the heck of it). And what had he done this time? Nothing…nothing at all…well…he did beat them all at card games…but that was all. It wasn't as if using a card of himself was wrong. Everyone always had cards of themselves (which, strangely, are always damn strong cards).

A number of cows looked up as they heard a cloud of dust emit a scream of panic as it ran down the countryside road. Behind it, an even larger cloud of dust, with it's own cacophony of yells, was in hot pursuit. The cows watched the two clouds of dust as they passed a huge sign that said, "Midgar, the model of the future, 200 miles" and had a large population meter under it that was rapidly spinning, ironically, downwards, which either meant people wanted to leave the future or apocalypse was already starting in Midgard.

The cows mooed….but amongst the moos, there was a faint yet distinct "myuuu".

* * *

Hi, sorry for the long wait. Been busy lately, but here's chapter 2. Finally. I decided to just extend the crossover to include a large mix of all the Final Fantasy series …well, not all. Just Final Fantasy VII to Final Fantasy X, and maybe a bit of FF tactics. And who knows, I might add in a mix of other Square Enix games, like Star Ocean 3, or whatever. And I have no idea for the pairing either…I mean, any ideas, anybody? I think I'll just make it a vote system, so please vote via review. There are at least 40 female characters to chose from, and who do you think will be paired up with Keitarou. And off course there's Negi and the other male characters to pair up as well. Interesting thought, isn't it. Remember, keep those votes coming in!

Well, enjoy, and please Review. Thanks.

And if you have the time, please read Arcanius Hina as well, and tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the Final Fantasy series, they are all properties of Square Enix. I don't own Love Hina or Negima either. They both belong to Akamatsu Ken and Tokyo Pop. Neither do I own Arcanius Halo.

* * *

A collection of people had entered the spacious circular room. There was the zombie man (Though his features had now taken a more Indiana Jones look), the guy who was teaching in the class, and a number of ladies. "So...where's our proprietor?" asked the Indiana Jones.

"I heard she was going to give the school to someone she deemed highly capable." Said the teacher-person.

"Oh, really. Well, I hope we could get him or her to give us a raise." At this point, Keitarou peeked from behind the desk and saw, to his horror, that the voice belonged to the girl who had mistaken him for someone else in the hot springs. "And where is that pervert? I was sure he ran in here..."

"Yep, lady luck exists...and she's got to be screwing with me." Keitarou thought.

"Out of the question...Naru" another lady sighed. This one had rather thick glasses on. "The school is running at a bare minimum running cost. No way it could afford a raise." She slowly shook her head.

"So where is proprietor Hina?" the Teacher person asked, standing on tiptoe to see behind the desk in case the elderly woman was skulking about, waiting to throw another cream pie surprise.

"Furthermore, is the new proprietor here?" The Indiana Jones asked, looking around.

"Seta….er…Hey, who's that..." The lady with the glasses asked. She seemed to have noticed Keitarou's head behind the desk. Just then, a whole group of students came in.

"Hey, have you found the flasher?" asked the basketball player.

"Yeah, where's the streaker?" asked one of the cheerleaders.

"Yeah, we haven't finished our practical. Rule number 3, don't leave your opponent standing (or alive for matters as serious as this)" Said a brown skinned girl. There was a faint knock from underneath the office desk.

"Can't wait to run him through, chop him up, and feed him to the chocobos..."Said the raven haired swordswoman. The large impressive leather office chair behind the desk wobbled uncertainly.

"Motoko, Chocobos are herbivores..."Another girl piped up. She was the one who pelted him with books, Keitarou thought. The said chair started to inch slowly towards an open window.

"Yeah, they eat gys...gis" Another brown skinned girl was trying to find the word, her face contorted with forced concentration. The chair had reached the end of the desk. It paused there, and there seemed to be a sharp intake of breath before it continued to inch beyond the protection of the large, solid, wooden desk.

" Definitely something green, Ku Fei." Another girl ended the discussion definitely. There was a creak from the direction of the chair, the clear sign that the universe was quite against anyone trying to act inconspicuous by hiding behind it.

"Ara…What's that?...wait…let me rephrase…who is that?" The girl carrying the watermelons asked, pointing at the naked Keitarou who was attempting to sneak across the room towards the nearest window behind the large leather office chair.

* * *

A certain passing (a Final Fantasy world sized bug, well, you get the idea, even bugs make 'big' entrances in this bizarre world) flying bug, that happened to pass the window of the office by pure coincidence (coincidental enough to be convenient for the author), if it was capable of coherent thought, would have thought 'hey, Bzzz…there zeems to be a Bzzz…a lot of them squashers in there…what in the name of the dungheap are they doing? Er…Buzz…"

Then it would have thought, " why are they all trying to squash that one there? I thought the reserved squashing for bugs…er…em…buzz." Then if its physiology had permitted it, it would have flinched as it saw the person splatter against the window, then slide down, making a wet balloon noise as the girls behind him bore down on him. Well, bugs, even the final fantasy world ones, aren't capable of coherent thought beyond 'buzz' but, nevertheless, it was just the author's way to fill up space on the page, you understand.

What happens next had been deemed far too graphic for even the strongest of mentalities by the department of censorship, so let's just say a couple of bones were broken, there was quite a bloody mess, and the damage report that was filed afterwards noted that the large expensive (considerably heavy) chair had been smashed into pieces, evidently on something very hard, and, if it were living, it had to be immortal to still be alive. Which was strange, cause it took three strong men to heave the chair upstairs, how it managed to fly up and fall down was a mystery in itself. There were unconfirmed reports of a towel flying off, resulting in an increase in the level of carnage and violence on the girls' part. Oh, and it might be worthwhile to note that the chalk outline (you know, one of those crime scene things to mark dead bodies) that was made at the scene afterwards by one of the brown skinned girls, very closely resembled modern abstract art…in fact, there was nothing remotely human about it…

Oh, minor point, nobody died…not just yet, anyway.

* * *

He felt like he was swimming…well, his eyes were giving him the sensation of it…either that or he was deep in piss…which would have been a good way to round off the metaphorical joke, hahaha…ehem…he noticed that he was lying down, on something soft…could it be…but no, the universe wouldn't be nice enough to let him die, that's why he's immortal. It's the universe's idea of a joke, a pretty cruel, sadistic joke at that…which is probably why it came up with day time comedy soap operas and banana peels.

People were swimming across his hazy vision. Their voices sounded far off…unfortunately…not far enough…he could still hear them but he wished he couldn't. Especially as every word sent a metaphorical (yet, anime-wise, were very palpable) knives, swords, and occasional light sabers into his heart. They were talking about him.

"He's our new caretaker? Man, what happened to quality control?" a boy nearby commented. Keitarou vaguely recognized him as the only boy in that classroom he passed through.

"Rayce, how can you be sure he's the new caretaker?" Keitarou recognized this voice as the voice of the boy who he knocked down during his escape.

"Funny you should ask that, Lee. The teachers have been discussing it, it seems Proprietor Hina had left a message before her suspiciously abrupt departure. It said she left the entire school in this boy's hands." The boy named Rayce said.

"How do you know its this boy then?" The boy named Lee asked.

"The note actually specified that the boy in question will be found half naked inside her office…uncanny, isn't it?" The girl with a ponytail sticking out the side of her raven black hair said.

"I think you've got a point, Setsuna. Pretty creepy, yeah. I mean, suddenly proprietor Hina mysteriously disappears and this boy is named proprietor and caretaker…Could he have…"

"…No…you're not saying…proprietor Hina can't be…"Another pink haired girl said, tears welling up in her eyes. Keitarou closed his eyes…yep, he is going to…well, not die, he can't die…well, suffer is probably the proper word, yeah, suffer, here in this school…one minute he fails his entrance tests, then he gets chased stark naked around the whole frickin' school, then his grandma decides to shove off and land an entire almost bankrupt school in his laps, then he gets the worst ass-whoopin any normal human would have happily died off (in his case, he had to survive and suffer the pain, that's the universe for you), and now, to sum up his perfect day, he is being accused of murder…just….perfect.

He got up slowly and said with a cold voice, "I didn't murder anyone, if that's what you're implying."

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! IT'S ALIVE!" The pink haired girl screamed.

The boy named Rayce picked up a large sledgehammer (that, out of comical convention, had to have 10 tons written on it in red ink) and slammed it down on Keitarou's head. Just before Keitarou blacked out, he heard him say, "Ooopss..sorry about that…I think I overdid the anesthetics…."

* * *

Keitarou woke up some moments later. His attention was immediately taken up by the pain throbbing in his head. Man, I don't need the license plate of the truck, I need the god damn driver's telephone number and address, along with the location of his dog's kennel, he thought. He looked around slowly. He was still in the infirmary. His bed was right beside an open window. Clear blue skies were beckoning outside, ready to catch any ideal optimist with a thunder storm the moment they ventured outside for a little 'fresh air'. He got up slightly to look outside the window. It was facing the school. It was beautiful, its mirror like surface gleamed blue and white in the clear sunshine. Its Halo flashed gold in the morning light.

He looked around the other way and found a young woman sitting by his bead, waiting patiently for his attention. She was maturely beautiful, her thick specs actually enhanced her beauty somewhat, it created strange attractive appeal. She smiled when she noticed she had his full attention and said, "Welcome to Hinata Garden,"

Keitarou blinked.

"Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Minamoto Shizuna, Head of staff here in this school. I'm also a teacher. I believe you're our new caretaker?" There seemed to be a hint of hopefulness in her voice.

"Er…yeah…I guess…I think Grandma Hina kind of, just handed it over to me…"

"Great! I'm sure you can't wait to get started." She seemed to breath out a sigh of relief.

"Er…" Keitarou wasn't stupid, just a little clumsy, and he was smart enough to see that there was more to the story. "…Why the rush?" He asked tactfully.

"Emm…well…"

"Is there something I have to know?" Keitarou was looking at her with an intense stare. It said it all, he wasn't going anywhere without an answer, at least, nowhere beyond the bathroom.

"Ok…" She sighed, "Yes, I'll tell you the truth. Well, the school is almost bankrupt…we have difficulty getting new students, we're having even more difficulty retaining our current students. There are so many better schools out there right now, we're kind of in a decline. Yes, we used to be the best school in Gaia, but…things have kind of dwindled. Now all that are left are the students that can't really afford an education elsewhere, are too academically unsuccessful to be accepted elsewhere, or are just plain patriotic fools. And don't get me started on the crazy and eccentric whackos."

"Ok…and where do I fit in?"

"Well, we thought, maybe a new caretaker could change things, you know, bring in some new blood, bring in some new hope. Please help us, this school has gone through many generations, bringing up many of the best SeeDs and scholars Gaia has ever seen. We can't let it end now, not after all it's been through." She looked at him with hopeful eyes.

"Well…ok, but we've got to make a rule against bashing the caretaker." Keitarou said after a moments silence.

"Consider it done, Proprietor."

"Call me Keitarou, please, and…uh…do you have some aspirin and space for one more student?"

* * *

"Well…this is nice…really nice…" Keitarou looked around his new room. He got a whole SeeD suite to himself, which was unusual as he was still a student. He looked at himself in the mirror,

"Urashima…Proprietor Urashima…" he said, puffing up his chest. He admired himself in the mirror for a moment before his heard a faint scuffle behind him. "Er…what?" He looked around.

* * *

"So, there's gonna be a training mission tomorrow, right?" Lee asked the people at his table. They were all in the cafeteria, eating lunch.

"Emm…this stuff Yotsuba makes is soooo yummy. Man, Hey! Yotsuba-san! You Rock!" Rayce shouted in the general direction of the kitchens. A chubby jolly face peaked out and smiled, and went back in.

"Yeah, we're going to Midgar. Some organization named Shinra wants us to guard a couple of reactors. Not much of a training mission." A brown haired girls said. The bells in her hair jangled slightly as she shook her head in disgust.

"Well, you gotta understand, the school's in a tight position, we gotta accept any mission available, Asuna." A cute black haired girl said.

"Yeah, I know, Konaka, but c'mon, guard duty? I mean, seriously…" the girl named Asuna said.

"A warrior must complete the task at hand without complaint." A raven haired girl said.

"Motoko, ever heard of what a life is? Maybe it's time for you to get one?" said a girl from behind a large book.

"Yue, speak for yourself, you spend your life buried in books in that library." Said another girl jokingly.

"At least, Incho, I don't forget spell incantations and accidentally fry my friends instead of heal them. There's a big difference between Thundaga and Esuna, y'know" Yue retaliated.

"Yeah…it took Honya-chan a week to get back on her feet…" Another be-spectacled girl sayed, glancing back down memory lane.

"Shut up Haru, You know I was trying to attack that hoodwinker. It's Honya's fault she got charmed and started to follow it around."

"Hehe, Well, it would be different story if Honya-chan was actually standing close to it, she was on the other side of the battle field…and you still got her."

"face it, either you're so blind you can't spot a criminal in a one man ID parade or you're so conceited that your own image takes up your entire brain space." Said another girl who had a basketball in her lap.

Incho was just about to drop the verbal equivalent of an atomic bomb on the basketball player, was interrupted mid-breath as a crash took up everyone's attention.

"COME BACK HERE!" A muffled voice cried out from ceiling (mind you, the ceiling is pretty high, and beyond it there was only the roof). Another crash resounded throughout the cafeteria.

There were a number of muffled giggles from above, followed by "Man, you ARE pathetic. Look at this, a book full of solo photo stickers?" All the students in the cafeteria looked at one another and collectively sweat-dropped.

Another crash, "G…GIVE IT BACK! I MEAN IT!"

The footsteps slowly died away, until it was barely audible…Then there was the smash of shattering glass and Keitarou fell down. The entire cafeteria held a reverential breath until he made contact with a huge trash bin (that said glass waste only), upending it, sending a shower of shattered glass and, strangely, banana peels, all over the immediate vicinity.

Then two small figures landed neatly beside the bin and cordially kicked the bin into a spin. There was a faint gurgling noise from within the bin as it rolled away. Then a giant robot (that looked strangely turtle like) came whirring by, picked up the bin, smushed it with both hands and threw it backwards where it collided with a conveniently placed watermelon stand. A steam roller just happened to come by through the cafeteria, inching along, and it just happened to run over the bin and the watermelon stand, sending a wave of red liquid all over the floor(don't worry, it's only watermelon juice, the author didn't have the special effects budget to prepare a proper blood substitute.)

Everyone returned to their meals, sensing that the show was over. Lee ran over to the flattened bin and picked it up. Keitarou unfolded himself from underneath it and dusted himself. "You ok? I guess the Narutaki twins could be a little rough sometimes…but I assure you, their heart's in the right place." Lee told him.

"Problem is, their brains aren't." added Rayce, strolling over. "The name's Rayce, this here's Lee." Keitarou shook hands with both of them and introduced himself. "We're the only two male students here, so with you, that makes three. We males should stick together, you know. You never know what might happen when we're outnumbered 10 to 1 like this." He whispered conspirationally.

"Hey, Keitarou-sempai, sorry for the rough welcome, we didn't know who you were. Judging by your attire (or rather, lack of) at that time, anyone would've judged you as a pervert. And perverts aren't very well welcomed in female dominated societies such as this…which makes me wonder why Rayce is still alive till this moment…So, let's start over. Come, we should introduce you properly." He gestured to a table that was half full.

"Hey, guys, this is Keitarou Urashima, but, I guess everyone here already knows you. You're pretty famous around here, though you're actually bordering on suicidally infamous. Well, fellas, as you know, this here's our new proprietor and caretaker, as well as fellow student, if I read the bulletin board properly." Lee introduced him to the entire cafeteria.

"Hello, as the class rep of class 3 A, the only class in our school, allow me to warmly welcome you to our school on behalf of the entire school." A tall, beautiful girl came up to shake Keitarou's hand, "And I'm sure everyone here's ready to forgive you, since you did provide us with a bit of entertainment…" Everyone cheered at this statement…well, almost everyone. There were some who were either sharpening their blades or preparing some sort of diabolical plan involving pots of boiling lava and pulleys.

"Hey, I got a real good plan." Rayce lowered his voice conspirationally again, just enough for all the table's occupants to listen, as they took their place at a half full table. They all gathered around him. "Rather than doing guard duty tomorrow, we could do something else. I know of another organization that would pay a lot to get us to help them."

"And what organization is this?" asked the pink haired girl.

"Funny you should ask, Makie…I didn't figure you to be the kind of student who'd skip out on guard duty…" Rayce sniggered.

"Er…eh…I…I think a little extended and varied training…is always…well…full of benefit…" She stammered, trying to explain that whatever it was she was doing, it wasn't for the heck of it.

"Ok, the organization's name is AVALANCHE. They promised to pay us big bucks in return for our services…cool eh?"

"AVALANCHE? Sounds mountainous to me…I don't like climbing…not in this time of the year. Sounds like a real natural hazard too." The girl named Incho said.

"Incho…it's the name of the organization…" The girl with the basketball explained in the tone normally utilized to explain that 1 + 1 2 to a particularly difficult child.

"Let's not take Incho along, I for one prefer coming home as a SeeD trainee rather than a burnt lightning rod….or some other product of spell inaccuracy." Said Asuna, shaking her head and sighing in as exasperated way.

"WHY YOU LITTLE BRAT!" Incho had launched into an attack with both fists raised… a few moments later, Rayce was continuing the explanation of his plan while a furious melee scuffle was taking place in the back ground to the cheers of "Yeah! Go Asuna / Incho!" and " 200 gil on Asuna/ Incho!" and other such lucrative cheers.

"And…what exactly does the job entail?" Motoko suddenly started to pay more attention than she usually does, which is surely a really bad omen. Everyone in the cafeteria was paying attention now…even Asuna and Incho froze to a halt mid-cheek pull. Everyone knew…when the cool headed samurai had taken an interest…the crap was about to hit the fan…

Lee had slipped off to write his will.

* * *

Some distance away, in the huge disc-shaped reactor city of Midgar…

"So, who's guarding our generator facilities this week?" A large beefy man who you could sooner jump over than go around asked, as he looked down at the sprawling metropolis below him. The city of Midgar was a city that was ever full of life, though this life is a result of draining the earth of its life force, the so called makko energy, by means of makko reactors.

"Em…along with our guard cadets, we have the Hinata Garden SeeD, sir." A tall man with blazing red hair behind him answered.

"Oh, good. SeeD right? It's always good to have quality…" the man said without turning around.

"Yes, sir, I've always preferred quality over quantity." The red haired man said jovially.

"Oh, why is that, Reno? It isn't like you to suddenly be so…practical." The round man in his red suit suddenly turned around. It seems a sudden increase in his underling's intelligence at turning out such a phrase was worth some appraisal.

"Oh, it's just that, the quantity is zero, sir, though I'm very sure of the quality…"Reno said with a jolly smile.

* * *

End of chapter 2. To be continued…

Keitarou: Hey! I haven't had the chance to show off my skills in that chapter!

BTB: Please be patient, I do have other things to concentrate on too, you know. I just don't have the time for long chapters…not right now anyway…

Lee:Then could you explain why it has taken you so long to release this chapter?

BTB: I already said, I was busy. I just don't have the time.

Mireille: And what about Arcanius Negima? You promised me my own series, what happened to that?

BTB:Ah, that, well...let's say chapter one is well on its way to completion…Lee, don't worry, chapter 9 of Arcanius Hina is almost complete, don't worry.

Keitarou: Why didn't you call this section an omake?

BTB:Well, cause it's already a comedy, I guess…

Mitsune: Yeah, very droll and tasteless humour…if you could call it humour…

BTB:Hey, take it easy on me. Time is kinda not on my side, you know…

Rayce: As everything is…

BTB: HEY!

Naru: BTB……again, I must complain…How come I didn't have any screen time in this chapter? You remember what happened during the Arcanius Hina production?

BTB:Hey….hey…seriously, chill…don't worry so much, I promise everyone will get plenty of screen time.

Naru:That's what you promised last time, but….

BTB: Don't worry, ok, now just to give you a taste of what's to come, behold, the preview for chapter 3 of Final Hina Fantasy!

Suu:Oh, great! Where's my banana flavoured pop corn!

BTB:Lower the screen, lights, projector, action!...and someone get those Narutaki twins off the projector…

**_From the Creator of Arcanius Hina…_**

_A train sped into the huge urban jungle known as Midgar…_

_**This Fall…**_

_The light flashed on a large shiny broad sword…_

_**A Hero…**_

_Keitarou stood amidst clouds of smoke and mist, his huge Zanbattou (Huge broad sword) glinted in the light…_

_**A particularly unfortunate school and dorm manager…**_

_Keitarou raised an eye brow at this remark…_

_**Will get the pounding of his life…**_

_Fast paced action techno plays, _

_Scene-cut---Keitarou jumps out of an explosion with his sword raised over his head. _

_Scene-cut---Everyone rushes out of a station, weapons raised in an all out assault…_

_Scene cut---Keitarou gets kicked in the head by Suu, ---cut---punched by Naru---cut---slashed by Motoko----cut---ran over by a heavy tank----cut---smashed into a watermelon stand----cut---and many other abuses…_

_**But who says he's the only one…**_

_Suu turns around and announces, "ten seconds and counting," with a cheery smile, everyon else turns blue with horror…"RUN!" Everyone ran away, and Lee pauses long enough to pick up Suu and run as well. "SUU! IF WE SURVIVE THIS, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU DON'T!" From a distance, the scene shows one of the huge reactors turning into a huge supernova…_

BTB: There, that's what to expect from chp 3, pretty cool, eh?

Keitarou: Looks painful...on my part...

Lee: We have stuntmans for this, right?

BTB: Nope, my production budget is tight, so you'll have to go and do all the stunts.

Everyone: BTB!

BTB: Umm...can we discuss this...ulp...mommy...?


	3. Blast it!

A young girl, probably 9 or 10 years old, was plodding along in a busy street, carrying a small basket of flowers. Little Annabelle Armitage was doing her best to to sell off her wares before it got too late. She looked around at the bustling crowd and pulled a few sleeves to attract attention. But, as it were, the habitants of Midgard were far too busy with their own lives to pay attention to the smaller ones they stamp on everyday. She looked down at her flower basket and sighed. Well, maybe better luck close to the station, she thought optimistically.

* * *

Disclaimer: Hey, let go of me, I've already told you, I don't own Love Hina, Mahou Sensei Negima or the Final Fantasy series…yeah, I know they've got respective owners…And I don't own Arcanius Halo either…so, can't we talk about this…he…heyy…uhh…what's that sledgehammer for? Umm…c'mon, I'm only writing this for pure personal enjoyment…ummm…help… 

Hey, you're still here...at least someone is. Well, good, someone's reading the story, that's a relief. First off, sorry to all Arcanius Hina readers, I'm kind of stuck on a particular action scene, but it'll be ready soon, please be patient. The title of Arcanius Hina has been changed to Love Hina: Children of the Exodus, cause I believe that title better reflects the story itself. And in this chapter, a new character will be introduced, Annabelle Armitage, who is due to show up in Love Hina: CE in chapter 10 or 11, maybe even chp 9 if I could squeeze her in. So here's a short preview of a future Love Hina CE character.

Note: There are more than 40 girls in this story, and only a few boys, i.e. Keitarou, Negi, Seta, Takamichi, Lee, Rayce, and Kotarou. Now...it's your turn to vote and pair up these characters with a girl of your choice...who's gonna be the lucky girl? Vote by reviewing.

Here we are, chapter 3, and without further ado…

Chapter 3: Blast It!

* * *

Observe…the sprawling disc shaped city of Midgar...it's8 impressive Mako reactors are alive with bluish green light. They all sent streaks of makko energy by gigantic cables to the main citadel, the centre of the city, the Shinra Administration Centre. Now…observe, the small train chugging along through the city. A small billow of smoke marked it's progress through the city. Scene cut----the trains wheels are running at full speed---scene cut--- zoom in the city, the screen gets closer to the train. 

The train is flying at breakneck speed….as it got closer to the station…it still didn't slow down…strangely enough. The guards standing guard at the station sweat-dropped as they watched the train reach the end of the line at speeds normally associated with comets. It smashed the buffers, flew over the platform, and slammed into the wall in a giant painful creak of twisted metal.

Steam blew everywhere…the locomotive exploded from all the pent up pressure…a metal wheel bounced out of the explosion due to certain dramatic conventions.

The guards watched with mild interest. It was better to just let things happen, as long as they don't concern you. Life's a lot easier and longer that way. "Hey, what do you reckon happened there?" a guard asked his colleague.

"Hmm…drunk driver, probably?"

"Drunk enough to not see a wall? He must have drunk a ton of absinthe. that's the last time we're handing you the controls…" Asuna's voice came out of the steam and smoke.

"What? It wasn't me. Honest…" Rayce's voice had a slight whiny edge to it.

"Yeah, you're probably the only sod capable of ramming a train into a wall. I mean, how much intelligence do you need to drive a train? It already has tracks to guide the way." Yue's voice floated out of the carnage

"….I think Suu ran off with the brake lever…" Rayce said.

"…Oh…that explains it…only that wasn't the brake lever Rayce, that was the just the pressure regulator."Lee's voice was somewhat distorted by the whistle of tortured steam.

"Oh…which one's the brake lever then?" Rayce asked. There was a loud thump from within the smoke as at least ten people face faulted.

"This one…eh? Where is it?"Asuna's voice was heard yet again.

"…Suu just ran off with something…"This voice seemed stern and stubborn, with a touch of anti-male female pride…it had to be Motoko.

"Who cares, we have guards to fight!" Keitarou shouted.

The guards were just watching the smoke and steam clear when they noticed a number of figures leap out of the settling cloud. "AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!" Keitarou came flying down carrying a huge zanbattou (a huge broad sword that seems to defy the laws of martial art practicality…i.e. it looks cool up to the point you try hitting an enemy with it.) He landed in a crouch while executing an overhead attack. He had his eyes closed with what he thought passed for deep concentration, along with a heroic smirk on his face. When he opened his eyes, he noticed he had just sliced a button off the guard's uniform. He seemed livid as he unlocked the safety on his machine gun.

"Why…you…insolent…" He aimed the gun at Keitarou's head. But just as he was about to shoot, two large spinning blades spun through the air and sliced his machine gun into scrap metal. Lee landed beside Keitarou and caught the two Schotells (curved blades that looked like huge crescents) that flew back into his hands.

"Keitarou, you could sooner pound an enemy to death with that thing before slicing him." Lee said as he quickly launched the guard into a dustbin.

Rayce landed in front of another group of guards that just appeared and started to spin his scythe around himself. He made a few elaborate twists and spins that seemed to awe the guards so much that they decided to stop and watch. "Hah! How do you like that!" He bellowed. The guards were standing stock still, gazing in his direction.

"Really nice, Rayce, especially that last bit…" Lee said.

"YEAH! THAT WAS MY TRIPLE BLAZING ENTRÉE, ARMAGEDDON STYLE, WITH EXTRA FLOURISH!" He shouted again.

"Yep, especially that last bit, Rayce, the part where your scythe stuck to the ceiling." Said Makie as she swept the guards of their feet with a twist of her ribbon. Rayce looked up at where his scythe had embedded itself in the ceiling.

"Ah….yeah, I was wondering why it didn't come down." He jumped a few times, trying to grasp the scythe handle, while everyone else charged out of the station. Another person drew level with Keitarou as they ran into the reactor facility. The person was huge, huge was the only word to describe him. He had a scar along his right cheek, and one arm boasted a huge gatling gun.

"Hey, Barret-san? What's the mission objective again?" Keitarou asked as they ran down a narrow corridor between a number of wooden boxes. Just ahead, Motoko and Mana had just broken down a door, and where systematically crippling enemy defenses. Mana laid down some covering fire with a shotgun. Motoko entered afterwards, finishing off the remaining guardrobots. A guard landed in a crumpled heap behind them, along with a shower of wood splinters. Kaede, the ninja, was engaged in a battle above them with a particularly skilled guard.

On an overhead cat walk, Setsuna was engaged in a fierce melee battle with another sword wielding foe. Sparks flew where the blades made contact. Another guard came up behind her with a machine gun. Setsuna deflected at least a dozen bullets without even turning around. Ku Fei swung across the catwalk and caught the unfortunate armed guard with a well placed nut cracker flying kick.

"Hmmm, you're the rookie, right? Well, we're here to destroy a mako reactor. Shinra has been sucking up makko energy from the planet for many years, gradually killing the planet. We, AVALANCHE, are a group dedicated to stopping Shinra and save the planet from gradual destruction. Our first task is to destroy all the makko reactors." Barret answered, cocking his gun as he looked around a corner. He turned around the corner and shot a barrage at an incoming wave of guards. A large guardorobot smashed through a nearby wall, with Suu and Sarah riding on its shoulder shouting and screaming with joy.

"Yeah? Well, you'd better remember to pay us the big bucks you promised, cause you'd be up against us here tonight if you didn't promise to pay us more than Shinra did." Rayce ran up to them. Satomi (nicknamed, the professor) was engaged with opening the security lock on a large blast door. She had small notebook computer propped up on her lap with cables connected to the door's interface panel.

"Hey, can't you stop thinking about money? Money ain't everything, y'know. What about life? Birds in the blue sky? Flowers? Grass?" Barret said.

"Can you eat all that? You'd have to be pretty desperate and probably a little on the herbivore side to be able to eat flowers and grass. And don't you tell me you haven't got the dough ready, cause we're on contract here. And I want it in human currency, cold hard gils, not rabbit food." Rayce said.

"How's it going, Hakase(professor)?" Lee was walking backwards towards them with his two schotells at the ready. "And can you tell Yue to shut down that alarm, please, it's killing me."

"Just a little longer…" Hakase Satomi said, her voice muffled by the pencil she was biting.

"Delta 4 to delta 1, do you read me?" A voice came over the com-link.

"Yes, this is delta 1, Yue, what's your status?" Lee replied into the communicator.

"We're facing heavy resistance in the 5b corridor, we're changing plans. We're going to enter the control room through the ventilation ducts, Nadako's already working on the ventilation duct entrance. We're trying to hold off the guards here. Expect delays to the plan. HEY! INCHO! THUNDAGA THIS TIME, OK? NOT ESUNA, WE WANT TO FRY THE ENEMY, NOT HEAL THEM!" Yue shouted over the com-link.

"Right, Yue, proceed at your own discretion. We'll go straight to the 4th reactor. Over. Delta 1 to delta 5, do you read me?" Lee said into the com-link again, while Satomi broke yet another lock on the door. Everyone else was watching Lee intently.

"Yeah, this is Asuna, delta 1, we hear you, what's the sitch? We're proceeding towards the 3rd reactor. Everything's going according to plan. There's very light resistance here…it's almost…too easy…I thought the third reactor was supposed to be heavily guarded. Hey, Chao? How's the progress on that lock,"

"Good, proceed as planned, we're almost at the reactor here." Lee replied.

"Great, we're good to go!" Satomi slammed the notebook shut and pointed with her thumb at the door. It was slowly sliding apart, revealing a huge mechanical facility. Rayce bit something and threw something into the gap between the door. The girl named Setsuna pulled out the grenade from Rayce's mouth and threw it into the gap, and ducked. An ear-splitting KaBOOM resounded through the air.

"That joke's getting old, Rayce," Setsuna said, putting her hand on the sword hilt, ready to enter the door. Smoke slowly billowed out from the gap.

"Gah, you're such a kill joy…" Rayce muttered, humourist extraodinaire, who finds humour in things like putting land mines on seats.

"Try that again, and I'll kill more than just joy." She answered back, pulling the sword an inch from its sheath.

"Yeah, yeah, you made your point. Suu…an extra order of high explosive charges, with a side of C4 and dynamite, with probably a firework cocktail, and make sure you top it off with a nuclear and biohazard sign, hold the mercy."

"YEAH!" Suu rushed up, dragging what looked like the head of an unfortunate guardrobot.

"Is she mental or something?" Keitarou said aside to Lee as they proceeded up the facility. Ku Fei, the dark skinned master martial artist, was sweeping up more guards above them, sending an occasional guard rushing down past them.

"I heard that!" Suu shouted happily as he kicked Keitarou in the head, before returning to her work. Keitarou fell down a number of stairs, smashed through a number of dustbins marked 'bananas' and 'glass waste' before coming to a crashing stop in a conveniently placed watermelon stand.

Lee came down and whispered to him, "She's Kaolla Suu, you don't wanna mess with her, she's a princess of some foreign country."

"Yeah, you don't wanna mess with princesses, them being able to pee through a hundred mattresses and all that." Rayce said, hurling his scythe at a guardrobot that attempted to make a very rude sign with what was left of its fingers, before crackling and blowing up.

"Uhh…pee through a hundred mattresses? I think you've got the fairytale wrong…" Lee said, throwing his schotell at the supports that held up a nearby catwalk, sending a hoard of guards splashing down into a shark tank (What's a shark tank doing here? The author is really going over board. But don't worry, he didn't have the special effects budget to put in live sharks either.)

"Hurry up guys, what're you all doing down here? The reactor's way up there!" A passing girl shouted.

"Hey, oneechan! Wait up!" another girl shouted up at the girl who just ran past them.

"You'd better keep up, Fumika!". The other girl shouted.

"Yeah, we'd better hurry, let's go!" Lee said, catching his schotells and putting them in the holsters on his back. He pulled out a handgun and shot a number of hovering guardrobots that were a bit too close for comfort.

"Delta 5 here…do you read me delta 1?" a voice crackled over the communicator.

"Yeah, Asuna, we hear you. What's up? Getting bored already?" Rayce asked, as they ran up another flight of stairs.

"Almost, it's too quiet here…I suspect something…wait, delta 1, I see something, hey, Chao, what's that? HEY, YOTSUBA! DON'T TOUCH IT! OH, FRIKIN BLOODY HELLISH CRAP! IT'S A…A…" Asuna faltered a bit…

"WHAT! WHAT IS IT! IS IT LENOY CASCKETT, THE HOTTEST COMEDIAN ON GAIA!" Yuna the basket ball player shouted with excitement into the com-link.

"NO! WORSE! IT'S A BLOODY B…" the line was suddenly cut off. There was a faint explosion that seemed to have come from somewhere far away.

"How much life insurance can we claim for team delta 5?" Rayce asked, taking out a calculator. Lee punched him into a nearby watermelon stand, which he narrowly missed…he fell over the railing instead and fell down into the shark pool.

"Ok, list of objectives has been updated, now it includes making contact with team delta 5, verify their situation, and extract them." Keitarou took command of the situation immediately.

"Yeah, extract them, through a straw…" Rayce had appeared again, and Lee punched him in the face _again_, sending him flying, this time through the watermelon stand, over the railing, and into the shark pool.

A few stories up, by the reactor…

"So, is everything going according to plan?" Keitarou inquired as they arrived at the reactor.

"Yeah, Suu's preparing the bomb now, it's almost done." Ku Fei reported. "But I do think she's having a bit too much fun…" she added in a low whisper, "You never know what'll happen when she starts giggling madly like that…"

"Probably high on bananas again, don't worry." Lee said, looking about uneasily. He knew something was going to go wrong. Team delta 5 has gone silent, there was that explosion…and now Suu's rigging their bomb…it can't get any worse.

Suu…be careful with that, I don't want people remembering me in terms of blast radius." Makie hazarded.

"All done...we've got 20…" Suu turned around and smiled. Behind her was a monstrosity that could have narrowly qualified as a bomb if only it didn't border on human right's violation, especially with the huge biohazard sign and the large anti matter bomb strapped to it, not to mention the Mol Mol sign which was a sure sign of retarded insanity.

"20 minutes? A bit too much Suu…I…" Keitarou started.

"RUN!" The more perceptive and sharp of the lot, such as Makie, Motoko, and Mana, started running at light speed. The suicidally less perceptive of the lot, such as Ku Fei and Rayce, decided to wait and see what all the fuss was about.

"No, it's 20 seconds…and now it's down to 13 sec…" Suu said happily.

"RUN!" Having caught on, Keitarou picked up Suu and started running for the exit, followed by those on which realization had just dawned…there's a monstrous bomb rigged by an insane suicidal maniac bent on apocalypse set to detonate in the next…oh… 9 seconds.

...Ku Fei and Rayce were still wearing blank expressions, standing by the bomb, wondering what all the commontion was about...

...Run Keitarou...Run

...Wake up Ku Fei...Rayce...Wake up...

End of Chapter 3

BTB:Sorry for the really short chapter, but I promise to make the next one longer. Don't worry Mitsune fans, she's showing up in the next chapter. It's the pressure of the approaching exams, I guess, so please bear with me and wait patiently for chapter 4. Meanwhile, I suggest you look up Love Hina: Children of the Exodus, which is also written by me. Yeah, Arcanius Hina has been renamed Love Hina: Children of the Exodus. I thought the new name reflected the true content of the story better. Thanks again for reading, and please review. And Happy Halloween too, while I'm at it.

Everyone: (Stamps through the studio wearing their Halloween costumes)

BTB: HEY! SAVE SOME SWEETS FOR ME!(runs after the others)

Lee: More sweets means Suu, Sarah, Fumika and Fuuka would be high on sugar...

BTB: GANGWAY! (Runs away from hyperactive Suu, Sarah, Fuuka and Fumika,)

Lee: Uhh...Wow, it's halloween already? Incredible, so you've been writing fanfictions for 6 months already, BTB.

Rayce: Hmmm...So now I'm technically 6 months old?

Naru: Now that's a proven fact.

Rayce: That implying?

Suu: (dressed in huge polar bear costume) HEYA FOLKS! (Rolls into the others, making the characteristic bowling strike sound)

Shinobu: (Dressed in her Love Hina Children of the Exodus costume) Puff...I'm here, am I late?

BTB:...He...hey, that costume is for Love Hina CE, that's a serious spoiler.

Lee: Does it matter? The only thing everyone out there cando is read our dialog, right?

BTB: Good point

Rayce: It's the season to be jolly...season for holly...and everything else ending in -oly...

Asuna: It's not Christmas yet...

Rayce: Since it's halloween, we've decided to make it a special edition...now, presenting...the weapons gallery!

Naru: What does that have to do with halloween!

Suu: C'mon, it doesn't matter. I wanna show off all my weapons!

Rayce: Here we go!

Weapons profile

Order: (Name) (Weapon) (Limit Break/Overdrive/Trance)

Lee, 2 Schotells and 2 hand guns,Apocalypse Incarnate

Keitarou, Zanbattou (Cloud's sword),Flee, Eternal Suffering

Rayce, Scythe (Agricultural implement), Triple Blazing Entree with extra Flourish

Naru,Iron Knuckles, Naru Atomic Punch

Shinobu, Staff (Sometimes a frying pan),Healing Heart, Wind of Peace

Suu, Various Projectile type weapons, Barrage from Hell, Princess of Mol Mol

Sarah, Artifact Disc Wing Edge, Midget Slasher

Mitsune, Pandora Daggers, Drunken Arts from Hell

Motoko, The Hinata Blade, Male Splitting Sword (works best on males)

Annabelle, Staff, Compendia Arcana

Makie, Ribbon?

Yue, Staff?

ASuna, Giant Sword?

Negi, Staff, Final Revelation

Mana, Handguns and sniper, Demonic Vision, Nightmare Assault

That's all for now, more will be added later. I'm in a rush, so I'll leave it at this for the moment.


	4. Chp4:Through a Straw!

Final Hina Fantasy

Chapter 4: Through A Straw!

Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina, Mahou Sensei Negima, or Final Fantasy. They are all properties of their respective owners. I respect their ownership, I really do...what are you looking at me like that for?

You've probably noticed that the Final Hina Fantasy series are written in a simplistic way. Yes, it's done on purpose, to give it a comedial air

* * *

9…8…7…6…5…4…3…(Ku Fei suddenly realizes what the numbers meant and starts running. Rayce stays put and wonders…)…2…1…(Rayce realizes…too late)

The fire roared down the large exhaust tunnel behind them as they ran at freak-o-rific speed. Tears were streaming out of Keitarou's eyes as he tried to keep up with the rest of the group.

"GANG WAY!" Rayce came flying by and hit the ground running, slightly singed. "Hey, Keitarou. Nice day for a run, eh? Reckon we could go any faster?" He said.

"Shut up and run!" Lee shouted beside them, running with all his might.

"Hey, anyone got any jam, cause I think we're gonna be toast." Rayce shouts.

"Your jokes are seriously lame…"

"Time for a frost spell!" Makie shouted, "Blizzara!" She shouted. Water gathered around and formed a wall of ice behind them, blocking the roaring inferno. "Heh, who said I'm a useless good for nothing?"

The ice glowed for a fraction of a second before smattering into a million ice shards that flew out at the group. The fire continued to rampage down the tunnel, its flames licking at everyone's butts every now and then. Ice shards pelted down on them. Setsuna and Lee took out their blades and started deflecting the shards. Keitarou swung his zanbattou around into a whirlwind.

"Makie you idiot!" Fuuka shouted, jumping from wall to wall, disappearing every now and then to dodge the shards. Fumika moved in a similar fashion, following right behind her sister, "Yeah, Makie, you useless good for nothing!"

Rayce meanwhile didn't do anything as a hundred or so ice shards embedded themselves in his body. He didn't seem to be in the least bit bothered. He looked at one shard that had stuck into his shoulders and used it as a rear-view mirror. "Ehh…that fire is getting awfully close…sorry guys, gotta split." Rayce suddenly picked up speed and zoomed spiraling down the circular tunnel, leaving a trail of dust in his wake.

"Hey! Rayce! You traitor!" Lee shouted.

"Guys…is that the light at the end of the tunnel?" Setsuna asked.

"Hegh…it might be…let's find out…" Keitarou laughed.

"I can't see the comedy…" Lee muttered, "Wait, I see it now."

The metaphorical and literal light at the end of the tunnel turned out to be a huge robot carrying an even bigger flamethrower. It rammed its spider legs into the ground, took up a stance, and aimed.

"Ironical isn't it…" Motoko commented, trailing her katana behind her, ready to strike.

"Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire." Makie said, whipping her ribbon out.

"Well…" Keitarou shouted, "Let's hope that thing is made in Wu Tai!"

"AAAAAGGHHHHHH!" Everyone shouted, charging at the huge robot.

The robot fired…whooomph!

* * *

Half an hour later…

"Ouch….man…I can't feel my legs…."

"Makie…that's my leg you're holding."

"Oh, sorry, Setsuna."

"Okay…first thing first…" A voice called out, "Will someone please tell me we brought a torch."

"I got some batteries!" A voice called out cheerfully.

"Oh, nice, now will someone please tell me we packed a torch." Keitarou's voice called out.

"I got a light bulb!"

"Okay…now, are you all going to tell me we set out on a mission without packing a torch…", Keitarou's voice bounced around.

"Hey, I brought a banana!" You can guess who this is.

"I've got an electro-discombobulator in my backpack!" Shouted another techno geek voice.

"Okay, so we brought everything except for the kitchen sink and a torch." Keitarou sighed

"I brought a kitchen sink!" A voice shouted out.

"Okay…I take that back, we're the only crazy twits freaky enough to go on a mission carrying everything including the kitchen sink minus a torch…" Keitarou said, trying to feel his way through the darkness.

"By the way! Question! Who tried to zap that flamethrower-bot with a thundaga spell?" Satomi asked, in a carefree voice.

"I did" Ako's voice floated out from the darkness. "I think someone also tried to use water and wind spells…"

"And what's more, someone tried to use ice and fire spells…" Motoko's voice said. "Ouch, hey…if you're a boy, you're dead."

"I'm not a boy…" Rayce's voice…

"DIE!" Something exploded.

"And what did we get from all those spells?" Ako asked.

"Well nothing much, really, they all cancelled out each other. But I think something struck that robots gas tank…which exploded and sent us to hell…" Satomi said.

"So…this is what hell's like…" Ku Fei mused.

"It will be in a moment if you lot don't start concentrating…" Motoko shouted. There was another scream from Rayce.

"Hey, I heard that some animals could navigate the darkness with ultrasonic sound!" Makie's voice resounded through the darkness.

"Ok, let's try that! High C everyone!" Fumika shouted.

"…C…c…cccc…M…m…mmmmmmmm….Thank you for the music…the songs I'm singing…thanks…for all the joy they're bringing…." Rayce's voice floated down from somewhere down the tunnel, followed by a clunk and an "OUCH!"

"Okay, that won't work…what now?" Setsuna said.

"Trust us to get ourselves in a mess…" Keitarou muttered. His voice echoed, "ess…asss….asss…asss..ass…"

"Oh cool…check this out…Kickass!" Fuuka shouted. "Asskick…asskick…asskick…asskick…." Her voice echoed.

"Yes, what we all need now is an ass kicking…" Keitarou muttered.

Pidstu!" Suu shouted.

"That's not a word!" Fumika said.

Suu's voice echoed, "Pidstupidstupidstupidstupidstu"

"That is…" Rayce said.

"Okay, enough, we need to think of a way to get through the darkness. Some of us do have nightvision capabilities, but we need at least a small amount of light to allow it to work. This place is pitch dark. Any ideas?" Lee said.

"Hey guys!" Barrett's voice approached. "It seems we fell down some old sewer system. I think we could get back to the upper sewer systems from here. C'mon!"

"A sewer system?" Fumika asked, incredulously.

"That's why it smells like shit in here….literally." Lee muttered.

"Do you know which way we're going?" Keitarou shouted.

"Yeah, I think I do. We studied this area for possible entrances to Shinra's reactors, but we failed. Apparently there was an entrance." Barrett replied.

"Okay then, let's get out of here!" Keitarou shouted.

"Yeah!" Everyone else shouted.

* * *

"Great, where am I?" Lee's head popped out of a manhole in the middle of a street. He looked about and noticed a car speeding down the street behind him. He ducked for cover, as the car bounced over the slightly open manhole, ramming the lid on Lee's head and sending him back into the abyss.

A few minutes later saw Lee slowly and cautiously emerging from the manhole. He looked about. "Man, those guys are so cruel…how can they leave me in the dark…" He muttered, as he made his way to the sidewalk. "Anyway…they said they'd hop aboard the train from here…that means I should go to the station…"

The station was brightly lit with hundreds of makko powered light bulbs. As Lee proceeded, looking about, he accidentally ran into something. Something elicited a tiny 'ouch'.

Lee took a step back to balance himself, before looking down and finding a girl with a basket of flowers. He immediately bent down to help her up. "Sorry about that miss, I must have been daydreaming again. Please forgive me," He said.

"That's all right…say, would you like to buy a flower? It's 1 gil each…" She offered up a flower.

"Uh…sure, I'll buy ten…" Lee handed over some money and picked out some flowers.

"THERE HE IS!" A voice shouted from the station entrance.

"Whoops…gotta run!" Lee placed the flowers back, "Keep them safe for me, please!" He started running towards the platform.

"Umm…hey! You haven't taken your change! You gave me a 100 gil note!" The girl called out after him. At least 10 shinra guards rushed past her, knocking her over in their hurry.

"Umm…come back, please…" She whispered.

* * *

Lee reached the platform and found that it was empty. The train had left. Keitarou and Rayce came rushing down the platform towards him.

"Hey guys! What…" Lee shouted, before he noticed a whole army, complete with tank-bots and the whole shazam, pursuing them.

"Don't run this way!" Lee shouted again, picking up speed. Rayce and Keitarou caught up with him.

"Hey Lee, I see you got out of the sewer too…" Keitarou panted, deflecting a few bullets with his zanbattou.

"Where are the others!" Lee asked.

"I thought they were with you!" Rayce shouted.

"Let's hope they got somewhere safe!" Keitarou said, looking back. They seemed to be preparing some sort of long range cannon on the robot.

"Hurry, jump over that bridge! They're gonna shoot something at us!" Keitarou shouted, picking up speed, before leaping over the parapet.

As they all leaped over the parapet, it exploded behind them, sending pieces of rock everywhere.

"Hey…this isn't a water…" Lee shouted. Something bright came out of the tunnel under the bridge and rammed into Keitarou who had jumped first. Lee and Rayce meanwhile had jumped slightly later. Rayce fell into a smoke funnel, while Lee skid over the rounded surface until he found a bar to hold onto. It was a locomotive, going at maximum speed, with maximum steam, which meant a world of hell to both Keitarou and Rayce.

Lee rushed over to the front of the train and looked down over the edge. There was no sign of Keitarou… "Oh man…he's dead…" Lee muttered.

"…'m ofler her…(I'm over here)" A voice called out, muffled. Lee looked down. Who wouldn't be muffled if they had a few tons of solid metal stuffed in their face.

Keitarou had been rammed by the train head on and had created a large indent in the train's front, in which he was now a metal relief.

Lee reached down and pulled him off. He made a really wet noise as Lee peeled him off the train's front. After pulling him up, Lee looked behind him and noticed for the first time that Rayce was also in trouble….in fact, he looked about ready to blow.

"Help…me…man…" Rayce managed, turning red. He was stuck up to his shoulders in the funnel. Lee and Keitarou rushed over to pull him out. They seized him (Lee got him by the ears) and proceeded to try and pull him out. "Hey, if I die here, keep the cause of death out of my epitaph, ok? I don't think my afterlife could support the humiliation…" Rayce muttered.

A low roofed tunnel loomed up in front of the train (and guess what, Keitarou and Lee didn't notice). As they continuously tried to pull Rayce, the tunnel roof drew closer, before smashing into them at the speed of a bullet. They both flew backwards, pulling Rayce out with them.

They lay for a few seconds on the locomotive's top. "Hey guys, are you guys still alive?" Rayce tried to get up. He looked at the tunnel that was growing distant behind them. It was collapsing. A huge crack had appeared across its middle, and a huge chunk down the middle had been cut out by something that looked like a really hard head.

"Hot damn…" Rayce muttered, looking down at Lee and Keitarou. "Ok, own up, which one of you destroyed the tunnel…"

"Let's get going…" Keitarou muttered, as both he and Lee got up and started proceeding down the train.

"Hey, where are you guys going?" Rayce ran to catch up.

"We've caught our train…" Keitarou said, jumping down a hole in one of the trucks behind the train.

Lee and Rayce followed suit, and found themselves in a truck full of crates and boxes. Clustered around them were the remnants of the exhausted SeeD team that had been sent in.

"Well…that was a pretty successful mission…" Rayce commented, taking a seat on a large crate.

"What's the plan?" Lee asked, sitting down on the floor.

"Well…we're gonna have to go back to destroy the remaining reactors." Barrette said.

"Not without my team. We've gotta extract our comrades first." Keitarou said.

"…Through a straw…" Rayce whispered. Setsuna whacked him with her sword scabbard.

"Well…you'd have to go to Shinra HQ. If they're still alive, then that's your best bet." Barrette said. "I've got other things to do…but you guys are free to use our HQ to rest. It's in the seventh heaven bar. I can take you there." He said.

"That would be great, thanks. I think we need a rest." Keitarou thanked Barrette.

* * *

Seventh Heaven Bar...Later on...

"Oh, you guys are back…" A young woman came out from behind the counter. "Welcome back!" She greeted them.

"Mitsune! Have you been drinking our merchandise again!" Barrette moaned.

"Hey…it's been a boring day." She protested. "Hiccup…" The air was permeated with the smell of alcohol.

"Whatever you do…don't light a match in here…" Satomi warned. And just as usual, someone tried it just for the sake of finding out what happened. This time, it was Fuuka.

"So…what now?" Lee said, while a large fireball lit up behind him.

"Daddy!" A small girl ran from behind the counter towards Barrette.

"Mei!" Barrett bent down and opened up his arms to receive Mei…who jumped, twirled, and…spin-kicked Barrett in the face. Barrett spun around a few hundred times before smashing into a conveniently placed watermelon stand.

"Well, here we are, home…" Barrette got up and picked up Mei, before landing a fist on the pinball machine on the side, causing the ground beneath it to crack and collapse, before giving way into a large hole (into which Barrette and Mei fell)

"Oh cool…" Fumika and Fuuka shouted, jumping into the hole, "Wheeeeeeee!"

"Well…what now?" Ku Fei asked Keitarou.

"Well…we…" Keitarou thought for a moment.

"It's obvious, isn't it, we're gonna go and save our comrades!" Setsuna said, walking over to them. Behind them, one by one, the members of the group slid down the hole.

"Well…that's a start…" Keitarou said, running over to help push down the blockage in the hole that was a result of ten people trying to jump into the hole at the same time.

* * *

End of chapter 4.

Please Review!


End file.
